Less than 36 hours and he'll be here. I'm scared. Really scared. REALLY FUCKING SCARED. What if he doesn't like me? What if he thinks I'm fugly? What if I fuck up absolutely EVERYTHING? What if he realizes I'm black? What if.. UGH!! I'm in such a fucking frenzy. I'm completely scatter brained. I tried to go grocery shopping last night. Made a list, then ran through every aisle twice, and still missed stuff on my list.
You know how when you REALLY like someone you get butterflies in your stomach? Well this is more than that. It's like pterodactyls ripping my intestines to pieces. They're in knots. I haven't slept well in two nights. My stomach hurts, ALL THE TIME. I can't eat. I'm such a basket case. My thoughts are entirely scattered. Sorry..that is definitely going to be reflected in this blog entry bc I can't organize ANYTHING. Not even my closet. FUCK.
I don't know, I guess I'm just worried. I love him, and what if we meet..and we just don't click in person like how we do not in person? I'll be completely heartbroken.
So yeah.. pterodactyls. Evil creatures.
Ohhh, don't overthink things. Bc thats when you fuck things up! just be you, and you'll be fine.
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