The title of this post comes from the song "Wasteland" by 10 Years. Found it on my "Revis" channel on Pandora. Definitely a good song. Check it out.
Anywho, 1 am, and I am awake. Played Minecraft, played Sims 3. Bored. Tired. Can't sleep. Don't want to do homework. I already did a bit of it. I really miss having internet. I miss playing Black Ops, even if it was a shitty game. Most of all, I miss all my friends from xbox. Sure they aren't face to face friends, but atleast I could count on them. I've been trying the having friends in real life thing, and it's not going too well. Last week I made plans with two different people and both of them stood me up. I have the hugest crush on one of them. We were going to go swimming in my pool but he never showed up, never texted to say he wasn't coming or anything. I sat in my swimsuit in my apartment for 4 hours waiting for him. Needless to say I was pretty devastated. I stood him up before, so I guess I was getting a taste of my own medicine. But my reason was legit, and I atleast told him. He lives here, and at the time I lived in Cedar Rapids. I also had a raging hangover that day. But atleast I told him I wasn't coming. He didn't say anything or even apologize. He only seems to like me when he needs something, which is kinda weird. Whatever..maybe I'm just that desperate for friends that I don't really care anymore. *Sigh* I'm no good at this real life friend stuff. I mean how in the heck do you even meet people? Sure, I've met a handful of friends through my roomie, but I like having my own friends to bring around too. I can't share everything. I need things/friends of my own.
Another shitty thing? My love life. I seem to pick all the wrong guys, or find the right ones and then push them away. This whole singleness stuff is lonely and I hate it. All I want is a steady boyfriend that will treat me with respect, pay for his own shit, and not cheat on me. Actually there's a lot more on my list of wants..but I'll save it for another post.
Speaking of the roomie (yeah awhile ago..what can I say? scattered thoughts!), we went out apartment hunting tonight. Our management SUCKS. I know I just moved in, but our lease is up in August, so we're moving at the end of them. There are these super nice apartments in Grimes that I'm kind of set on. Hopefully we can move there! They aren't too far from my work, and they're really nice!
Welp, I think that's all for now..I think......
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